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Showing posts from April, 2018

Ant-Man – Should be called Pant-Man

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Fantasy, super-hero, action adventure Ant-Man has the ability to shrink to the size of a …. Errrr ant! The plot is pretty terrible, the acting is wooden, and the dialogue is will put you to sleep. What sometimes saves a failing film is a really ‘good’ villain. However, this villain was really bad, but not in a good way. Worst Marvel film ever made 1/10

Legend – a paranoid schizophrenic walks into a bar!

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True story - Set in 1960’s London. Legend is a classic British gangster thriller, tells the rise and fall of London's most notorious gangsters, Reggie and Ronnie Kray.  Both roles were very convincingly portrayed by Tom Hardy, I frequently forgot that both roles were the same actor. There are loads of graphically violent scenes, look out for the bar fight where the brothers are facing off a rival gang. Ronnie, the paranoid schizophrenic, walks out and immediately returns with two hammers and all hell breaks loose! Very highly recommended. 10/10

Every Day - Same Person Different Bodies

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This is a thought provoking teenage romance, based on the best-selling book of the same name. The plot follows a wandering spirit, who calls themselves simply 'A' who inhabits a different teenage body, sometimes different genders, and different races, but in the same locality every day. While on a 'trip', 'A' inhabits Justin and falls in love with his girlfriend Rhiannon. 'A' does not know why or get to choose the next body. On the subsequent trips 'A' tries to meet up with Rhiannon every day after. Towards the end of the film 'A' questions the practicalities of their possible future. This is an emotional film that challenges what you might do if you were to inhabit someone else's body. You'll like this if you value personality over looks. 7/10

Anomalisa - Claymation

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The Claymation character 'Michael Stone' is on a business trip to deliver a speech on customer service, he meets a woman and they find an emotional connection. This is a unique animated film, the themes being explored are loneliness, isolation, vulnerabilities, social awkwardness, and fear of rejection. This is really fascinating film. There are some deep messages. It's about as perfect as you can imagine. There won't watch anything like it! This is one of the easiest top marks I've ever awarded. 10/10

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Very British Drama

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Fictional historical drama, based on the best-selling book of the same name. The reason for the extraordinarily long title is explained in the opening sequence. Set in 1940's Nazi occupied Guernsey, a small group of islanders regularly meet to discuss any books they can find, and this continues after the war. Stars Lily James as a successful author who receives a letter out of the blue from one of the literary society members, who gets her name and address from the sleeve of another book requesting she sends him more of the same. More letters are exchanged and she eventually decides to visit the society as research for her next book. At this point the film becomes a detective story and the author uncovers a tragic chain of events. This is a charming film about coping with loss and the value of community. Recommended, especially if you're a fan of Downton Abbey style drama and it's cast. 7/10

Dirty Grandpa

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Comedy (though not really very funny) - road trip. Robert De Niro IS one of my all-time favourite actors. Raging Bull IS my all-time favourite film. I’m ashamed to see an all-time acting legend involved in this garbage! I won’t try to describe the plot, there isn’t one, and the film is completely rubbish. Makes you want to poke out your eyes with hot pins. 0/10

The Boss - Melissa McCarthy but not very funny

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Comedy (that's being extremely generous)  Melissa plays a captain of industry who is sent to prison after convicted of insider trading.  When she's released finds it hard to return to her 'normal' life. After the success of Bridesmaids and Spy, Melissa has gone generally downhill. The plot is dull, the jokes are dull, the characters are dull. 4/10

Zoolander 2

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Comedy, mystery adventure. Justin Bieber is killed off at the start with the famous Derek 'pout' expression on his face, Derek needs to find out how this happened. There are plenty of celebrity cameos, and some fun aimed at the fashion industry. Not really very funny, not worth your time. You'll probably find this at the bottom of the bargain bucket. 2/10

Ghost Stories - You may question your belief in the afterlife! (may contain spoilers)

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British horror drama, based on a successful stage play. Professor Goodman (Andy Nyman) is a psychologist who has devoted his life to exposing stage psychics. Out of the blue he receives a letter and audio cassette from his childhood TV hero who was also a celebrity supernatural sceptic. He meets his hero at his dilapidated caravan and is presented with a file containing details of three terrifying unsolved cases and instructions to solve the cases or prove the supernatural doesn't exists. Goodman's mission is to find rational explanations for the three ghostly stories. 1/ Paul Whitehouse is a security guard in an abandoned asylum, haunted by 'nutcase's' from the past while on duty checking for intruders. 2/ Alex Lawther is a teenager on the brink of a breakdown, he is from a dysfunctional family and is involved in a car accident in the woods, and tormented by devilish creatures. 3/ Martin Freeman is a slick, wealthy former financier, who encounters a poltergeist

Isle of Dogs - (I LOVE DOGS) (may contain spoilers)

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Set in near future Japan, this is Wes Anderson's second imaginative stop-motion animated film. We learn that a disease is being spread by dogs. The mayor has dictated all dogs are exiled to the nearby 'Trash Island' to live out the rest of their lives and limit the spread. The mayor's nephew, 'Atari', steals a plane and flies to the island, to search for his dog, the first human to go looking for their dog. After crash landing he meets the main pack of alpha dogs who take him under their wing and help him search. Barks are translated into English, but Japanese is not translated, some dialogue is subtitled, some doesn't need to be due to emotion and inflection. There is a cure for the disease 'dog flu', this is kept a secret by the corrupt cat loving government and Atari's mission inspires a group of dog lovers to expose the government conspiracy. There's an incredible voice cast, most are Oscar winners or Oscar nominated. With cartoon

A Quiet Place - Stay Quiet to Survive! (may contain spoilers)

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Horror - Set in the near future. Earth has been invaded and overrun by blind alien monsters, which hunt noise. We pick up the plot 89 days after the invasion, and the background is established via random TV news reports and old newspaper headlines. Any noise in the world makes it a dangerous place, and therefore there's hardly any dialogue, and therefore the family communicate via sign language, which is easy since their daughter is already deaf. The suspense and tension escalates quickly since the film is a trim 90 minutes. I'm not a horror fan but I AM A HUGE Emily Blunt fan. This is a gripping film about an isolated family trying to survive the monsters and their own dynamics. 8/10

Hot Pursuit

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Comedy buddy adventure I had low expectations but went as nothing else was on. The dialogue wasn't funny at all, the acting completely wooden. So bad I walked out after 30 minutes - this film failed on every level. 1/10

Ready Player One: Modern Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (may contain spoilers)

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Fast paced fantasy action adventure - directed by Steven Spielberg. Set in the near future where everyone is dominated by a virtual reality game called 'The Oasis', society wants to escape the harsh real world. The Oasis game involves solving three puzzles, find three keys, locate the golden Easter egg, and ultimately win control of Oasis and a huge cash reward. Look out for 100's of old film and video game references while the game is played out. The final morality test is the winner's refusal to sign the Oasis ownership contract just like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory concluding theme. The film also appears to be currently relevant as we are already in a time where virtual reality games exist, and we are in a time where BIT coins are already becoming popular. I viewed in 2d but suspect the 3d option would present some amazing depth. However, don't expect much more than popcorn entertainment. 7/10

The Purge Election Year - another rubbish installment

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Former police sergeant becomes head of security for the senator, who is a presidential candidate. The senator is targeted for death on Purge night due to vowing to eliminate the Purge Night thing. Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish. Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish. Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish, Rubbish. 1/10

Peter Rabbit - Might appeal to 6-7-8 year olds (may contain spoilers)

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Animated children's adventure mixed with live action, based on the Beatrix Potter' beloved character Peter Rabbit. The old man Mr McGregor dies at the beginning and his house is inherited by his nephew. The nephew wants to sell the house but falls for the attractive neighbour, who has a close friendship with the rabbits, and as a result we see lots of repeated chase scenes and slapstick humour. I wanted to like this film, but the writing is lazy and parents should prepare to be bored, the rooster character provides the only funny moments, but they are only literally moments. A poor film when compared to Paddington 2 (which was genius) 5/10

Everybody Wants Some - Rubbish!

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This is a ‘comedy’ about a college baseball team, they drink a lot and party a lot and that’s about it. Hardly a comedy, I hardly laughed, in fact I couldn’t even stay until the end. It was awful and I want to forget the bit I watched. I completely hated it.  DOES ANYONE ELSE AGREE? 1/10

criminal

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A CIA agent on a mission in London tracking down a hacker nicknamed "The Dutchman." When he gets mysteriously ambushed and killed, an experimental procedure is used to transfer his memories into dangerous convict. When he wakes up with the CIA agent's memories, his mission is to find The Dutchman before World War III is declared. The plot is a real mess, the film is unwatchable! I'm surprised that I stayed until the end! Poke out your eyes with hot pins would be more enjoyable! 1/10